Of the many suggested captions to Mike Weston's photograph of two Black-headed Gulls Larus ridibutidus (Brit. Birds 84: plate 15, repeated here), we enjoyed the following:
'Decent, respectable gulls keep their sexual affairs to the proper season, and are not still wearing summer plumage in January.' (David Armitage, Hertfordshire)
'One, two . . . oh Hell! I always forget.' (Nicholas Barlow, West Midlands)
'You mean I'm supposed to eat that!' (G. M. Buchanan, Lothian)
'I dare you tojump.' (Mrs O. Drake, Devon)
I know bleeding prumage when I see it. Who was it?!' (R. H. Langdon-Davis, Avon)
'Now do you believe me? Your right foot IS bigger.' (J. C. Maxwell, Strathclyde)
I told you posing like that would make it too easyfor "Monthly marathon".' (A. Morris, Zimbabwe)
'It's no use sulking--there's no way they'll string you into a Bonaparte's.' (Nicholas Ostler, Northamptonshire)
'Ifyou really loved me, you'd buy me a ring.' (Keith Vinicombe, Avon)